Let's face it. Prison is interesting. The same thing that makes you slow down and rubberneck a car wreck makes you wonder what happens when you throw a bunch of bad guys together and make 'em suffer. It's why you watch Prison Break, why The Count of Monte Cristo is a classic, why those guys didn't bust out of Shawshank and Alcatraz until the end of the movie

You live vicariously through those characters because you're never going to see prison first hand. Doesn't make it any less fascinating, though, does it? That's where I come in. I'm in "the joint" as we speak. Now, if you find it morally questionable that I'm shamelessly exploiting my situation for "entertainment" - well, you probably just logged off anyways. Sorry to see you go, you're going to miss a few good stories. As for the rest of you, let me introduce myself.

My name is Andrew (sorry I don't have a cooler prison name like Blade or Ripper), I'm 34 years old, and I'm writing this from inside of a Federal Prison.

I did time in a maximum security penitentiary for bank robbery, but it's been some years now and all in all, I'm a pretty good guy. We learn from our mistakes just like anyone does, and I won't be in here forever. Besides, you ask anyone in prison and they'll tell you we're all innocent anyways.

So, about this blog thing. I've got a few good stories to tell, and I thought it might be interesting if I shared a few of them with you, and gave a report from my little piece of heaven here occasionally. Think of me as kind of an incarcarated Ira Glass. I'll try to keep it interesting, and hopefully it will be unique. Who knows, you might learn a little something. Do you know how to start a fire with a battery and some oatmeal? Make hooch with skittles and tomatos? I do.

Your comments are welcome, eagerly anticipated even. I hope you'll understand why it may not be so easy to respond to them. I'll do my best, but I obviously don't have an Internet connection. We're talking through a middle man (or woman) here. Anyways, read on, spread the word, and enjoy what I have to say. Life's no bed of roses in here, but if you get some joy out of it, it's good with me. We all do it.

Some of my favorite movies:

  • The Shawshank Redemption

  • Goodfellas

  • Avatar

  • Leaving Las Vegas

  • Drugstore Cowboy

  • East of Eden

  • Trainspotting

  • North by Northwest

  • Midnight Express

  • The Lost Weekend

  • Casino

  • The Usual Suspects

  • Pulp Fiction

  • The Breakfast Club

  • Taxi Driver

  • Sunset Boulevard

  • Breakfast at Tiffany's

  • Blackboard Jungle

  • Braveheart

  • Schindler's List

  • Psycho

  • On the Waterfront

  • Star Wars (all six of them)

  • Tombstone

Monday, May 7, 2007

Some clarification!

Posted by Andrew On 5:22 PM No comments

Well, we’re only a little ways into this project, and I’ve already learned a few things. Most of it will turn out to be a positive thing, and since we’re all about honesty here in this little corner of cyberspace, here it is:

  1. This writing thing is harder than I expected. Not that I don’t know how to write—I am an aspiring journalist/novelist with plenty of experience. But, with this blog, I feel like I’m speaking directly to you. That makes me a little nervous. On top of that, I can’t go back and change what I’ve said. Once one of these goes in the mail, it’s a done deal. I think like any writer, as soon as you write something down, you begin to question it. That’s a little tough. I don’t get the benefit of a second draft.
  2. You can’t please everyone, so why try? I quickly realized that the whole point of this blog page is to give you MY unique perspective on things. Yet I have secretly been “softening” my opinions in order to placate the masses. That’s not the way it should be. If you can’t handle some thought-provoking opinion, then don’t let the mouse click hit you in the hyperlink on the way out. Ambiguity is boring.
  3. Writing about prison is my theme here, and it’s probably why you’re reading, but I’ve got a little more to get off my chest than just stories about the joint. I'll always try to keep it topical, and hopefully will never bore you, but expect a little bit more out of me from now on. Not that I’ve been “dumbing it down,” but I’m capable of a little bit more than I’ve been giving, and quickly got tired of holding back.
  4. Also related to #3, you’ve probably noticed that I’ve mostly been presenting this in an “informal,” semi-sarcastic voice. While that is fairly representative of my personality and what I intended for this site, there are some very serious issues affecting our nations prisons, and I will not hesitate to address them in the sincere, candid manner they deserve. Again with the topical thing, there are some non-penal issues I’d like to touch on as well. I’m not looking to run a propaganda machine here, and I’m certainly no Limbaugh or Huffington, so take it for what it’s worth.
  5. Besides all the negative (yet intriguing) aspects of prison, there are a few positive things that go on in here, too. This place is a breeding ground for creativity. Don’t be surprised if you see the occasional poem, short story, drawing, painting, or even song pop up on this site. Arts & crafts are popular here, maybe I’ll give you a little DIY project now & then.
When I started this, I knew it would be a dynamic process, and that I would have to find my voice. We’re getting there. I am hoping that through reader input I can shape this to really be something special. Whatever happens, I won’t give up, so don’t give up on me. I’ve just learned that I have a whole section to fill on personal interests, so look forward to that. I’ll try to get a few top 10 lists up there.

One last thing. Although I never intended this site to lead to any pen-pal relationships, and certainly want NO profit from it, I am going to post my mailing address on the “about me” section. If something I say engages you so much that you wish to contact me personally, feel free. I’ll respond to each and every letter.

That’s all for now. Enjoy the “upgrade” and keep checking in!

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